Franchise Zombies
http://www.writerspodium.org/articles/2389/1/Franchise-Zombies/Page1.html
Mr Cheesy
Biography - your having a laugh. By Mr Cheesy
Published on 10/25/2007
Working on the night shift at Munchies fast food emporium next to the railway station after college isn’t a career to be shouting about. It was meant to be a temporary arrangement. I've been here two years now. It isn’t the best I'll give you that, but I have to pay the bills. It does have its good points. I can eat as many burgers as I want. Susie the cook sometimes gives me the odd blowjob if its quiet enough and, you do get to meet lots of different people; even ones who have been dead for many years. The zombies, every other night they come in and they always order the same thing: three burgers each, two large fries each, and an extra large coke each. They give me the creeps, and they smell worse than old people, but they are paying customers. Joe the nightshift manager says his or her money is as good as anyone’s is.
Just smile and remember the company motto, 'I hope you enjoy your meal'; Joe reminds us every time they come in.
Zombies, they shouldn’t be mixing with people like everything is normal, it isn’t right. One night two were in and it was quiet, I had to ask them why they eat so many burgers. I was curious, so when I was sweeping up the fries thrown about by the adolescent boys who think throwing fry’s about impresses the girls. I casually swept over to where they were sitting.
Hey guys, I said. Can I ask you a question?
I try not to look them in the eye; that’s how they pick their victims. They look into your soul, and can see weaknesses, flaws you don’t know you have, Apparently that’s how it is!
Sure, go-ahead kid said the one who has a hole in the back of his head.
They say a police officer shot him when he made a getaway from a bungled bank robbery way back in the twenties. One night I heard another zombie tell another zombie, the zombie with the hole in his head was a famous gangster back in his day. Zombies tell many lies, so that may or may not be true. I keep meaning to look it up in wikipedia, but I don’t know his name, so there isn’t much point.
Don’t you guys get enough human flesh to eat over in Hellbent Alley. I said motioning my eyes at their burgers.
They both shrugged as if they were hiding something, a secret maybe. They seemed harmless enough so I asked some more.
Why eat so many burgers. Don’t you know too many burgers isn’t very healthy? One now and again isn’t so bad, but four every other night – that can’t be good for you.
The other zombie, not the one with the hole in his head, the other one who died with leprosy, and has six of his ten fingers missing, he wiped his face with a napkin, and took a sip of his cola. I pretended not to notice half his lip came off when he wiped the excess relish of his face.
See, its like this kid, he said and took another sip of cola. There just isn’t enough punks and losers come by Hellbent Alley anymore. Not since we ate all the prostitutes, he said, and he seemed genuinely sad about it.
I was wondering where the girls went. I said looking out the window over to Hellbent Alley. The place used to be moving with prostitutes. Now they are all gone and I didnt even notice.
You can’t tell if a zombies sad, they don’t have any tears, and if you study them, they don’t blink either. Its quite off putting, and strange. I tried it one night after they left, and I could only last three minutes before my eyes stung, and I had to give up.
Aren’t you afraid of ‘mad cow disease’? I asked them.
Don’t be daft kid, were dead. Why would ‘mad cow disease worry us? The one with the hole in his head said, and they both started laughing.
I slinked back to the counter with my broom and my shovel-on-a-pole feeling more than a little foolish.
I hope you didn’t annoy those two? said Joe without moving his lips, and bobbing his head backwards in the direction of the two zombies.
Just being sociable Joe, just talking to the customers, I said; but thinking it is time I found another job. Man, this place is too weird.
What happens on the late shift in burger joints.
Burger Eating Zombies
Working on the night shift at Munchies fast food emporium next to the railway station after college isn’t a career to be shouting about. It was meant to be a temporary arrangement. I've been here two years now. It isn’t the best I'll give you that, but I have to pay the bills. It does have its good points. I can eat as many burgers as I want. Susie the cook sometimes gives me the odd blowjob if its quiet enough and, you do get to meet lots of different people; even ones who have been dead for many years. The zombies, every other night they come in and they always order the same thing: three burgers each, two large fries each, and an extra large coke each. They give me the creeps, and they smell worse than old people, but they are paying customers. Joe the nightshift manager says his or her money is as good as anyone’s is.
Just smile and remember the company motto, 'I hope you enjoy your meal'; Joe reminds us every time they come in.
Zombies, they shouldn’t be mixing with people like everything is normal, it isn’t right. One night two were in and it was quiet, I had to ask them why they eat so many burgers. I was curious, so when I was sweeping up the fries thrown about by the adolescent boys who think throwing fry’s about impresses the girls. I casually swept over to where they were sitting.
Hey guys, I said. Can I ask you a question?
I try not to look them in the eye; that’s how they pick their victims. They look into your soul, and can see weaknesses, flaws you don’t know you have, Apparently that’s how it is!
Sure, go-ahead kid said the one who has a hole in the back of his head.
They say a police officer shot him when he made a getaway from a bungled bank robbery way back in the twenties. One night I heard another zombie tell another zombie, the zombie with the hole in his head was a famous gangster back in his day. Zombies tell many lies, so that may or may not be true. I keep meaning to look it up in wikipedia, but I don’t know his name, so there isn’t much point.
Don’t you guys get enough human flesh to eat over in Hellbent Alley. I said motioning my eyes at their burgers.
They both shrugged as if they were hiding something, a secret maybe. They seemed harmless enough so I asked some more.
Why eat so many burgers. Don’t you know too many burgers isn’t very healthy? One now and again isn’t so bad, but four every other night – that can’t be good for you.
The other zombie, not the one with the hole in his head, the other one who died with leprosy, and has six of his ten fingers missing, he wiped his face with a napkin, and took a sip of his cola. I pretended not to notice half his lip came off when he wiped the excess relish of his face.
See, its like this kid, he said and took another sip of cola. There just isn’t enough punks and losers come by Hellbent Alley anymore. Not since we ate all the prostitutes, he said, and he seemed genuinely sad about it.
I was wondering where the girls went. I said looking out the window over to Hellbent Alley. The place used to be moving with prostitutes. Now they are all gone and I didnt even notice.
You can’t tell if a zombies sad, they don’t have any tears, and if you study them, they don’t blink either. Its quite off putting, and strange. I tried it one night after they left, and I could only last three minutes before my eyes stung, and I had to give up.
Aren’t you afraid of ‘mad cow disease’? I asked them.
Don’t be daft kid, were dead. Why would ‘mad cow disease worry us? The one with the hole in his head said, and they both started laughing.
I slinked back to the counter with my broom and my shovel-on-a-pole feeling more than a little foolish.
I hope you didn’t annoy those two? said Joe without moving his lips, and bobbing his head backwards in the direction of the two zombies.
Just being sociable Joe, just talking to the customers, I said; but thinking it is time I found another job. Man, this place is too weird.