Next Time, Just Accept the Compliment
- By Lynn Lawson
- Published 09/24/2008
- Self Help
- Unrated
Lynn Lawson
Lynn Lawson publishes One Funky Mama, an online guide that encourages moms to live fuller lives. Sign up for the semi-weekly ezine at http://www.onefunkymama.com and you'll be happy you have that extra little push to make your life more fulfilled.
View all articles by Lynn Lawson
You’re frantically getting ready so you can meet a friend for lunch. Makeup…half done. Hair…what a mess. Outfit…if only you had the time to pick out something cuter. The kids were saying, “Mommy don’t leave…when will you be back?” You pretty much had to pry your dress out of your toddlers little fingers, just so you could get out the door.
You scuff your brand new shoes, when you get in the car. And cranking it up, you realize you won’t make it halfway across town with your tank being on empty. So, you stop at the nearest gas station and pump away. When you get back in the car, you realize you got gas on your hands from the pump.
You reflect on the start to your day; and it’s only 11 a.m. And don’t even bother to remind yourself about your lack of sleep. Your 6-year-old woke up in the middle of the night with an ear ache and you had to run to the all-night grocery store for something to make “the hurt go away”. Could your whole day end up being as crazy, hectic, and tiring as the start’s been?
On your drive across town you put on your favorite station and begin to mellow out. Aaahh, the jazz sounds great! You’re so glad you decided to spend the money on satellite radio. It’s always there for you…and commercial free. But, in an instant, a driver cuts you off. You blow your horn and almost stick up your finger (you know the one)
. But instead, you take a deep breath and pray he gets to his destination safely.
Pulling up to the restaurant, you see your girlfriend getting out of her car looking absolutely fabulous…as usual. Makeup…has she been airbrushed? Hair…not a strand out of place. Outfit…doesn’t matter: she could make a potato sack look like haute couture. She greets you with her infectiously cheery self and says, “You look fantastic. I love your dress. You always look incredible!” And you know she genuinely means it.
Before you speak a word, STOP! Does she really need to know all the details of your morning? No one needs to know about your kids, your shoes, your car, or your drive, if discussing them is used to reverse a kind word. And, let’s face it, women cancel out compliments as a way to make ourselves feel less special.
Many of us find it very difficult to accept flattery because having all that attention on us makes us uncomfortable. Maybe we didn’t get very much praise growing up and just don’t know how to graciously accept it. Or, perhaps we grew up being the apple of people’s eyes and don’t accept the compliment because we want to “feel regular”.
Whatever the reason, your long explanation isn’t going to make you look any less incredible to her. So before you decide to negate yourself the next time someone offers you flattery, immediately halt your thoughts. Instead of giving a long-winded answer, just smile, say “Thank you”, and mean it!
You scuff your brand new shoes, when you get in the car. And cranking it up, you realize you won’t make it halfway across town with your tank being on empty. So, you stop at the nearest gas station and pump away. When you get back in the car, you realize you got gas on your hands from the pump.
You reflect on the start to your day; and it’s only 11 a.m. And don’t even bother to remind yourself about your lack of sleep. Your 6-year-old woke up in the middle of the night with an ear ache and you had to run to the all-night grocery store for something to make “the hurt go away”. Could your whole day end up being as crazy, hectic, and tiring as the start’s been?
On your drive across town you put on your favorite station and begin to mellow out. Aaahh, the jazz sounds great! You’re so glad you decided to spend the money on satellite radio. It’s always there for you…and commercial free. But, in an instant, a driver cuts you off. You blow your horn and almost stick up your finger (you know the one)
Pulling up to the restaurant, you see your girlfriend getting out of her car looking absolutely fabulous…as usual. Makeup…has she been airbrushed? Hair…not a strand out of place. Outfit…doesn’t matter: she could make a potato sack look like haute couture. She greets you with her infectiously cheery self and says, “You look fantastic. I love your dress. You always look incredible!” And you know she genuinely means it.
Before you speak a word, STOP! Does she really need to know all the details of your morning? No one needs to know about your kids, your shoes, your car, or your drive, if discussing them is used to reverse a kind word. And, let’s face it, women cancel out compliments as a way to make ourselves feel less special.
Many of us find it very difficult to accept flattery because having all that attention on us makes us uncomfortable. Maybe we didn’t get very much praise growing up and just don’t know how to graciously accept it. Or, perhaps we grew up being the apple of people’s eyes and don’t accept the compliment because we want to “feel regular”.
Whatever the reason, your long explanation isn’t going to make you look any less incredible to her. So before you decide to negate yourself the next time someone offers you flattery, immediately halt your thoughts. Instead of giving a long-winded answer, just smile, say “Thank you”, and mean it!